Sometimes I ask myself, what’s my coping mechanism? How do I manage to handle stress? Do I handle it healthily? What is my “escape” from life?
Honestly, sometimes I know how to answer this question but other times I’m completely lost.
The truth is I have been drowning in stress for the past couple of weeks, I’ve been tired, uninspired, and doing the bare minimum at everything, even breathing feels like a chore. I used to (and still do gotta be honest) hate myself for not finding the motivation, for not getting up in the morning and carrying on with my day as if nothing is bothering me or as if life doesn’t feel heavy.
Truth be told, I have no idea why life feels heavy and no idea why I’ve been feeling uninspired but it’s ok.
I’ve learnt through therapy and a lot (when I say a lot I mean an unhealthy amount) of podcasts, that sometimes, life will feel heavy and whenever it feels heavy, it’s ok and I should not discredit the progress that I’ve made through these years just because my luggage got heavier. I used to hear the words “ it’s ok” and “it will get easier” or “we all have our days sometimes” – but I don’t know what will get easier, I have absolutely no idea what is “ok” and what about my day?
All these thoughts used to rush to mind until I learnt to break down my day, give myself a breather and check in on myself. Life can get super hectic and not just for our parents or siblings, it can get super hectic for us as well. We’re all made from the same flesh and blood, we’re all going to feel, we’re all going to go through it and we all have a different coping mechanism.
I’ve already been super honest about therapy, medication, illness’s and all that jazz (unpopular opinion, jazz is nice) but now I’m going to be super honest about my coping mechanism, my little push that get’s me out of bed and my little motivation that no matter how dark and heavy the day feels, will give me that push.
What I found that works for me is having the kind of mentality that is constantly saying “F*ck It” (Can I say something like that here? Sucks if I can’t I’m going to say it anyways) to everything and anything.
I’m on a diet and I feel like a 20 pack with extra fries on the side? F*ck It, I deserve it today.I should be working out but I’m in my bed reading my favorite Harry Potter book? F*ck It, I’ll go tomorrow.
I will keep on saying “F*ck It” until my day feels lighter, I will keep on saying “F*ck It” until I feel happier and I will keep on saying “F*ck It” until I feel like me again. – this generally, helps me get out of bed.
As you might know, I have a full-time office job that I love dearly so whilst I’m getting ready, I take the time to break down my thoughts, “Why do I feel like this?”, “What happened for me to wake up like this?” and most of all “How can I go back to feeling like myself again.” – no you’re not going to have all the answers, you might cry whilst thinking about it (it’s ok I had to clean my mascara multiple times) you might also get super irritated and make your mood even worse (yeah, don’t drink coffee if you’re irritated) or you might answer one question but not all of them (to that I say, well done, one step at a time).
Whenever I’m working from home, on days like these I allow myself to work the first hour from bed in my pjs then I’ll slowly get up but, on days when I work from the office (I hate that I’m going to admit this) on the way to work I generally put an old playlist that makes the little kid in me happy (If you ever saw me jamming to High School Musical in traffic, please mind your business lil me is happy) – generally after the drive I’ll keep on listening to the same tracks during the day until it’s just funny and I’m back to being me.
Yet, sometimes I’m never back to being me, sometimes I just crave my bed and my doggo for cuddles (and my boyfriend he makes everything better) – whenever I have this craving, I give in.
I’ve learnt that I can try (which is the most important part) but sometimes, trying won’t be enough, sometimes just staying a day in bed watching my favorite cringy series is just what I need .. as much as I used to hate saying it – Listen to your inner voice, give yourself credit and learn to love and respect yourself just like you tell others to do.
We all have good and bad days, it happens to all of us.
Never let your bad days discredit you.
Always let your good days motivate and inspire you.
Give yourself credit, we’re all trying.
Smile to your neighbour, they might be dying.
Pat yourself on the back, you’re trying.
With that, I’ll leave you to it .. remember to live, laugh, love just like Pinterest taught you!
Peace and Love 🤎